Wednesday, June 3, 2009

HAPPY and SAD

"In everything we do, our thoughts can help us succeed, or they can help us fail. Maintain a positive attitude!"

I've been a little bit restless over the past week or two as I try to figure out just exactly what to do with myself, my summer and my time. For the past 15 years, I have gotten up in the morning and headed to the track and done everything that I know how to push myself beyond the limits of my physical and mental capacity. And I've loved every single minute of it, the highs and the lows. Every minute.

Fast forward to 6 weeks ago, and my life as I've known it, came to a sudden and unexpected halt. And while I've made steady progress and my Achilles continues to get better each day as I do my physio, I still can't bear all of my weight on the ball of my foot and so I'm a ways away form returning to any sort of mobile exercise. For the time being, I have to be content with stepping up and down on a box, static lunges, leg raises, eccentric calf raises and trying to walk down a flight of stairs without putting both feet on each step. Exciting, I know!!

Add to that, the fact is that the track season is in full swing as can be evidenced by all the track meets on TV, my friends who are traveling the world, the fast times, the far jumps and the eyes that are all set on Berlin in August for the World Championships. I've qualified for and competed in the World Championships 9 consecutive times going all the way back to when I was a junior at Stanford and made my first Worlds team and ended up making my first finals, finishing 10th.

I would give my right arm right now to just have the chance of making it, but that's not an option. So that makes me sad. In the past couple of weeks, Puma has continued to send my usual shipment of equipment



included in which is the SWEETEST pair of long jump spikes I've EVER had.



Alas, I won't be wearing them any time soon. And that makes me sad:-(

All of this being said, I cannot deny the fact that my career has been so fulfilling and beautiful and exciting and thrilling and awesome and if I never stepped foot on another track competitively, I could live with that . That makes me happy. I have some of the BEST people in my life who, no matter what ANYONE tries to do, remain constant and special and I love them and that makes me happy:-) The Truth remains, and I think my injury has really revealed just how important my friends and family are as they have all been here for me in every way.

So, I'm not sure if I will be heading to Eugene to watch my people do their thing at the US Trials for the upcoming World Champs, but if I can't, my heart and thoughts and good wishes will most definitely be there with everyone. Some opportunities that I'm pursuing might preclude me from making it there, but time and schedule permitting, I'll wish my good lucks in person very soon anyway;-) Everything happens for a reason and for as much as I would love to be contending for wins and records and personal bests, I'm doing my best to make peace with the fact that I can do that off the track too, just in a different way. And that makes me happy!

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!

4 comments:

Robyn said...

Jackie dont push
relax i kno you miss everything but it will all be good.

Eternal Lizdom said...

It's so good that you know yourself the way you do. But my heart still breaks a little for you... I can't imagine being forced completely out of my zone like that.

I also know that your faith will see you through it!

Gina said...

When you're down that's when those who love you the most hold you up! Frowns are smiles upside down ;-)

Jim and Garret said...

A sad post indeed. The only thing better than competing is traveling the country in an RV. Is that what your doin'?

Garret