Friday, July 31, 2009


This song Fallen is one of my all-time favorite songs.....ever! It's not a very popular song but it's from the Pretty Woman soundtrack and it occurs in the film when Richard Gere lets Julia Roberts go shopping for her fancy red dress and he borrows the most exquisite necklace for her to wear. He then flies her to San Francisco for a date on his private is just beautiful. I think I could really watch this movie over and over and still not get enough lol. I love the song. I love the lyrics:-).....Enjoy!

Sunday, July 26, 2009


I don't know exactly when it all started or how it all happened but over the past several years I have somehow become the unofficial "official" writer for many of my friends. You name it, I've written it. Speeches, long and short. Some to be delivered in front of a small audience, maybe 20 or 30 people, some in front of huge assemblies, councils or boards numbering in the hundreds. Letters - applications to graduate school, grant proposals, grant requests, cover letters and personal letters. Resumes. Welcome addresses. Press releases. All totaled, I'm sure I've done this no less than 20-25 different times for other people. And that's a safe estimate. It's not a big deal really and I'm generally happy to help my friends out. I've never asked anyone for compensation, however it seems that most often, my friends come to me with deadlines impending and a "Can I get that by tomorrow, please?"

I don't remember telling anyone though that this was my passion, my delight, that it was fulfilling for me. I also definitely don't go around telling people that I'm available to do this either. I don't even generally share that I wrote something for someone less there be any fallout because of it or less it should give someone the idea that they should ask me too, lol.

Of late however, things have been getting a little bit out of control. Requests for this letter and that resume and that cover letter just keep coming in. Are my friends telling one another that I'm the go-to "ghost" writer? But these friends are in different places, from Fayetteville, to Tallahassee to the Bahamas to California so I'm not sure what's the deal. Maybe I need to start charging people and then they won't be so quick to bombard me with every little thing, lol.

The other day a friend of mine asked me to write her two paragraphs to welcome everyone to an outdoor event.....I was like, are you sure you can't do that yourself?? I knew she could and so I actually, surprisingly said sorry, no. That I didn't have the time. After all it was Wednesday evening when I got her email and she needed it first thing Friday morning. I think it was only the second time I've said no to someone who's asked me to write something for them, but I felt slightly that she was taking a little bit of an advantage of me. I haven't heard from her since but I'm sure she got through it OK, especially because I've written a couple welcome speeches for her before! I'm figuring she could just do a little cut and paste and be just fine. Don't you think so?

Anyway, I wrote another resume today and I was happy to do it, but maybe I'm gonna have to make this a side gig or something. I'm not sure. I guess I'll just see how it goes and whether or not pro bono is still the way to go....I'm sure when all is said and done the answer is still gonna be yes.

Monday, July 20, 2009


So I met a guy at the gym the other day and he seemed pretty cool. As is the case for the past 3 months, conversation was initiated because of my slight limp. What happened? How did you do it? When did it happen? etc. We ended up talking about some of his family members and the possibility of me helping them with some nutritional and weight loss information which I have been doing some part-time work around.

Anyway, so by the end of the conversation, he invited me to lunch. I wasn't sure what was his motivation for inviting me, like I said he seemed cool. I decided however to be very upfront with him and tell him that I was NOT available and that it would strictly be platonic in nature. I just wanted to be clear from the get-go so that there would be NO misunderstanding. He said ok and so a couple days later we met up.

First of all, we met at the gym and he said we should go in his car. I said OK and then I saw that he was driving a convertible! Not my thing at all. For those of you that don't know, let me fill you in.....CONVERTIBLE + BLACK WOMAN's HAIR + NO SCRUNCHIE/PONYTAIL HOLDER = NO FUN AT ALL!!!! I aired my non-preference of the top down situation but he just told me to go to the drug store next door and buy a scrunchie..... OKaay then! Now if this were a date and/or this was someone I liked in that sort of a way, then I would have been feeling far more accommodating but given the scenario, ummm not so much. Anyway, being the nice girl that I am, I went and bought one.

We got in the car and drove to a nearby Cajun restaurant. As soon as we walked in, it was instantly clear that he knew EVERYONE in there. "Hey", "what's up", "you good?", "I see you", nods, hand shakes - you name it, he did it. By the time we were seated a mere 50ft or so from the door, he had already said hello to at least 10 people, no lie. He started touching my back and ushering me to my seat and calling me honey and some other names.....ewww! Through the course of lunch, he touched my hand a bunch of times and my leg over and over. I was SO uncomfortable. I will say the food was good though:-) I was very aware that he was trying to give the impression to everyone that we were together and I was definitely trying as politely as I could to do the opposite, especially with the waitress who he also clearly knew.

Anyway, lunch ended and we went to get up and he reached for my hand to hold it to walk out of the restaurant!!!!!!?????? Is it me or this is way over the top? I turned my head and looked the other way, pretending not to see this gesture. He bid his goodbye's to everyone again on the way out and I held onto my purse with both hands so that they would both be occupied, lol. At least he put the top up on the car for the drive back. I was literally counting the seconds till I could get back to the safety of my car. We finally did. I said thank you, reciprocated his hug that lasted too long and got the heck outta there.

He has since called several times and I think I picked up the phone once. I finally had to tell him today that there would be NO further outings and that NO I couldn't "make some time for him". I just wish I could've forseen how this was gonna go. Maybe I'm just naive (as I've been told:-). He was a nice guy, but just WAAAY too touchy, feely for me and way too "friendly". I haven't seen him at the gym since, but I know I will. I will for sure say hi but I can assure you that there will be no more lunches or drinks or anything of nature. Hopefully I've learned a lesson, but knowing me, probably not, LOL!! That benefit of the doubt thing just doesn't always pan out.

Thursday, July 16, 2009


I had some free time on my hands this afternoon so I made a quick trip to the mall and took a stroll around (or a limp) to be more precise:-) Usually this type of trip is dangerous because I didn't really have a purpose for being there and so often times I will buy things that I don't really need in this sort of scenario.

I almost made it out unscathed, lol but I saw this neck accessory - I don't really know what to call it - a chain? a necklace? - as I was in the last store that I planned on stopping in and I just couldn't resist. It's a little bit different for me, a little extravagant as I was told;-) but I know one of these days I'm gonna put it to good use, maybe even this weekend as I have a party to go to.

Anyway, here are a couple pics of it. It looks a little bit Indian, a little bit heavy and it's pretty bold but every once in a while you gotta step outta the box right and change it up!

Sunday, July 12, 2009


So tonight, after a pretty long but really nice day (which I might blog about later), I was messing around on my laptop when I logged onto the Essence website. I found the most interesting tool on there. You can basically upload a picture of yourself and try out all these different hairstyles on yourself just to see what you might look like with different haircuts.

Lately, I've been considering cutting my hair. It's something I've done twice before and the result actually looked very similar to the very first picture below. You basically can click on different pictures of different celebrities and "try out" their hairstyles. I had loads of fun doing it and here are just a few of my favorite ones. To all the ladies out there, click on the above link if you want to try it out for yourself!!! Don't laugh too much at my new 'do's!!!

#1 "Halle Berry"

#2 "Wendy Raquel Robinson"

#3 "Tia Mowry"

#4 "Serena Williams"

I'm definitely tempted to just bite the bullet and go short....I think my favorites are either #1 or #2.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


A couple days ago, I was coming home from my first day back at the gym (woohoo!!!) and as I was getting out of my car, I saw two guys with skateboards stop at the apartment next to mine and sit on the wall. Picture this - black guys, twins, 6ft 2ins tall, big big afros, my kinda skin colour, one with big rectangular glasses, one without.

Twin #1 says: "Excuse me, ma'am can I use your phone?"

Jackie: "Why do you need to use it?"

Twin #1: "We just checked out of the hotel behind these apartments and our friend who was supposed to pick us up hasn't shown up so we need to call him."

Jackie: "Why are you staying at the hotel?"

Twin #2: "Cause our mom kicked us out the house and we had nowhere else to stay. We've been homeless off and on for a long time but we're doing the best we can."

Jackie: "That's sad. So how do I know you're not gonna run away with my phone. I know you see me limping so you know I can't chase after you."

Twin #1: "Yeah that's the problem we're having. No one wants to let us use their phone cause I guess we look dangerous or something."

Jackie: "Well, I'm gonna dial the number for you and then if you run away with the phone, so be it. The Lord will show me mercy for being kind to you today so I'm just gonna believe you guys and lend you my phone."

So I let them use the phone. They called their friend. The friend didn't answer. They called another friend who told them they didn't know where that guy was so now they're still stuck outside my apartment building. I ask them where they're going. They say Cheviot Hills, which isn't too far from my house as far as driving distance so..........I offer them a ride! I MUST be crazy or something cause basically I could be signing my own death warrant. They thank me profusely and get in the car for the 10 minute drive.

Turns out they're 20 years old. Twins as I said before. Homeless. Twin #1 whose name turns out to be Ryan has cancer - Hodgkins Lymphoma. Twin #2 Robert is his support and backbone. Their dad lives in San Diego in an apt "the size of you car" and doesn't want them. Their mom can't stand them because according to them, they remind her too much of their father whom she hates. She stole the $10,000 Ryan was given by some agency towards his medical bills. I asked them what were their plans. I said, "You have to have a plan for your life. You can't just continue to be homeless, dwelling on the past. The hand you've been dealt is pretty bad but you're gonna have to come up with a plan. Did you guys finish high school?"

They say yes, in fact they graduated early and Ryan started school at Loyola Marymount but had to drop out because he couldn't afford the tuition. I try to tell him there are loans and scholarships that they can still apply for and that they can't give up. Robert is going for a job interview the following day at Urban Outfitters because he just wants a job he says, but truth be told these boys need a good shower before they go anywhere:-( My car was getting a little bit stuffy, if you know what I mean.

We get so caught up in conversation that we miss our turnoff but we make our way to their destination soon enough. I wish them all the best. They thank me profusely again. I tell them to make plans for their lives and not to let anyone determine their future aside from themselves. That they can still do great things and that it's not too late. I wish Ryan the best with his Lymphoma which thankfully he says is in remission. Just before walking away, they ask me for $1. I give them $4 and they say please say hi to us if you ever see us anywhere again. I say, "Definitely!" and I drive away.

OK, in retrospect, that was some RISKY BUSINESS that I involved myself in but my gut was speaking to me and telling me everything was OK and thank the Lord that it wasn't just indigestion or something I was having lol!! I probably would never do something like that again in hindsight, it being 20/20 and all but I hope if only for one second that Robert and Ryan got to hear and see that there is still a chance for them. That they don't have to just accept their awful hand. That they can choose their path and if I passed that thought on to them in the slightest of ways, then the risk that I took will have been worth it.

Friday, July 3, 2009


I have a pretty good male friend who I'm relatively sure doesn't read my blog so I'm gonna write this taking the risk that he won't google me now and start reading tomorrow:~/

I've been friends with this guy now for the past 4 or so years and actually I've known him since my college days. We get along really well and I enjoy his company. He is funny, quick-witted, intelligent, good-looking.....and married (with kids)! We joke about pretty much everything and whenever I see him we have a good laugh.

However, the past several times that we've hung out, he's decided for one reason or another to try push things beyond the line of what is appropriate. He's made certain comments, made certain moves, and without being completely blatant has pretty much made it very clear that he would like to take "things" further. Now at first, I just laughed and blew it off with a chuckle and a wave of the hand and a "you're so silly". But as time has passed, he has made his intent all the more clear and things finally came to a head recently.

There was no more aversion that I could do, or laughing or dismissing of particular statements and so I finally had to make myself explicitly clear. I told him that while I thoroughly enjoy our friendship that I am not the chick who fools around with other people's husbands and that I hope he could accept and respect my standpoint. One to which I would hold firm. He immediately said "absolutely" and I felt much better for having finally said what NEEDED to be said.

I'm not sure why people do that. Why get married if you're not ready? Why cheat? Where is your conscience? And why risk messing up a perfectly good friendship for some foolishness? I don't know the answers to these questions and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do if he comes at me like that again because I have the distinct feeling that given his ego, it's a possibility. He's not accustomed to being "denied", but I hope that he will at least respect my wishes if this friendship is to continue. I guess my only other option at that point will be to just completely end the friendship. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that!