BABY STEPS....

So today is the first day that I am allowed to take my boot off and switch to wearing my normal tennis shoes. It's a non weight bearing boot so I haven't actually "walked" since April 18th. I'm still supposed to use my crutches starting with bearing about 30% of my weight until by next week Wednesday, I'm supposed to be fully weight-bearing. I swear, it seems as if everything is happening so quickly and so slowly all at once.

So quickly because mentally, I'm not sure I'm ready to start walking again. This process usually takes 12 weeks and so far it's been 2 and a half in total to this point for me. I was sooo looking forward to today but now I feel really nervous and unsure and worried that I might tear the entire tendon or something. My foot feels a little stiff but I can tell that a lot of healing has occurred.

So slowly too though because the daily grind of using the crutches and standing on one leg and hopping around everywhere in this three story apartment has been tedious to say the least and precarious at best. I can't tell you the number of times I've tripped on the stairs lol. I went out to the track yesterday and saw everyone running around and getting their bodies ready for competition and all I could do was sit on the side and watch with envy, truth be told. I should have traveled yesterday to Qatar with DO and Joice and I surely will miss not being there with them but I know they will hold it down in my absence:-)

Anyway, I have to trust my doctor. He assured me that today was the day I could put my foot on the ground again and I have to believe in that. I need to believe in that because my little quad and calf are withering away, lol. My ankle still looks a little swollen but back where there was a gap in my tendon, that gap is no longer there.
It kinda looks and feels like a skinny, fat person's leg if that makes any sense lol. I only hope that as quickly as this atrophy has occurred that it will bounce back just as fast to having some semblance of muscle tone cause it's kinda mushy right now....ugghh:-(

I'm sure I'll be fine, I think I needed to just get it out, to say it. I guess that's what this blog can do sometimes - give you a voice you know what I mean? To get stuff off your chest. So that's it. I'll keep saying my prayers and before you know it, I'll be hopping and skipping around again....ok let me not get carried away...but in one short week, I should be able to chuck these metal appendages (my crutches) aside and be one step closer to being whole again! Woohoo!