Thursday, November 19, 2009

MY KINDA GUY

Over the years, I've dated a wide variety of guys. Those who know me, will know that the number of actual men is not high. I'm not sure why or why not. For some reason, I've just never been attracted to loads and loads of men. Call it picky, call it selective, call it unlucky, who knows? Some of my friends have the ability to find this guy attractive, and that one and the other one, any time, all the time. I would have to say that sometimes I've envied that. I could seriously go years without finding one guy wholly appealing - physically, spiritually, mentally, personality, manners - you know the whole package.

I have a lot of male friends, friends who I can totally see why someone else would absolutely love them and who on paper it would make perfect sense for me to be attracted to them, but maybe there's a faulty mechanism in my brain that only allows me to like one or two guys every 3 or 4 years lol. There was a period of time, between 2002 and 2005 where I only was "involved" with one guy that played tennis (and for those of you who read my blog that know who I'm talking about, please keep it to yourselves:-) and that was only for a couple weeks. THAT's IT! Not another date, not a nothing else. Sad, yes I know:-(

I think I've spent so many of my years traveling and doing the track thing with my whole heart and being that it's just never been a priority. During that time I have dated white guys, black guys, a hispanic guy and in-between guys. At Stanford, my first boyfriend ever was white - the quarterback of the football team - how cliche??!! Let me add quickly though that at that time, fresh off the boat from The Bahamas, I had absolutely NO comprehension of the game of football. Didn't know a quarterback from a running back from a hump back of Notredame. Seriously, no clue. That didn't stop the naysayers from claiming that I thought I was white and was only dating this guy because of his position on the team. If only they had known that a) I don't discriminate lol and b) that for all I knew he was just one of a group of men in similar uniforms who liked to play this game with no rules (in my mind) who just knocked each other down over and over for no apparent reason. By my senior year, thankfully I knew what was going on lol.

I've dated internationally too - a black model from France (worst mistake EVER), a white guy from Germany, an Australian, a Cuban and then my lovely American boys. For one reason or another, I've ended up dating a number of guys that are significantly younger than me. Not sure why. I will say I am not a chaser, so these young men have been the ones who pursued me and since they've been so lovely, what's a girl to do??

I've often wondered what exactly is my kinda guy. I don't really think I have a type per se, but there are certain things that seem to be more prevalent than not in the men I've loved. Tall (well mostly), athletic, intelligent, uber confident, great smiles, charming, funny - you HAVE to have a sense of humor, and they've been high on the handsome scale:-) It's not that I look for that specifically, it's just that these traits seem to be common to them all. However, because of these qualities, these men tend to have more "options" so to speak and a fair number of them have chosen to exercise those options if you know what I mean. Sometimes it's hurt a lot, sometimes not as much. But you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on, knowing that Mr. Right is still out there, right ladies?

I know what I DON'T LIKE - selfishness, rudeness, men that are inconsiderate, who treat their mother's poorly, I can't do the vertically challenged thing - sorry - I'm 5'8 1'2 and when I put on heels, I'm bordering on 6ft so a guy that's also 5'8" or less, probably not gonna work. Unhealthy or unfit men, I don't like them. I love guys that take care of themselves or who workout. They don't have to be athletes as such, just athletic. Poor hygiene is a HUGE turnoff. Can you really get past consistent bad breath? I don't think so lol. Or someone with bad B.O.??? Ewwww! If you did not just finish working out, etc, there's no excuse. The ladies know there's a lot of bonus points out there for a good smelling guy!!! Get your Bath & Body on too please (if you need some help I highly recommend Warm Vanilla body lotion) and a little bit and I did say a little cologne (don't bathe in it). Just can't deny a great smelling guy! (That rhymed, haha...) Anyway, Oh yeah and cut your hair - no shaggy monsters for me (well maybe one time I went there, lol).

Can you have some table manners too? No smacking your lips while you're eating! Know how to use your fork and knife properly. Please don't talk with your mouth just loaded with food. Be kind to your waitstaff. I hate it when people are rude and pushy with the people who serve them at restaurants. Says a lot about a person's character or lack thereof. And can we talk about something other than hip-hop music or popular culture? I need you to know a little about what's going on in the world. Is that too much to ask for?

I know I'm all over the place with this post lol and I'm not sure what prompted the topic. I just know that I know that I like what I like when I see it. Can't predict it, can't explain it. My kinda guy is thoughtful and genuine and adventurous and honest and chivalrous and passionate and silly and intellectual. He's intense but laid-back, he's tough but gentle, he's serious and funny, he can dress up and he can dress down. The older I get, the more I know what I like...And who knows, maybe I've found him already:-) It's possible, but only time will tell.....

7 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

Awe, this was so on point. I know what i like too, and what i want as well. Here's us making that great connection with that somebody special.

Gina said...

The type of man a person chooses speaks volumes.It's good to be selective, most people bank on the physical attributes of a person to get them by in a relationship,and that simply doesn't cut it.My kinda guy needs to be considerate,humble,humorous and pragmatic...good looks wouldn't hurt either ;-) My kinda guy we're with, or desire, says something about who we are... Great Post Jackie

Brianna said...

yes, i have heard through the rumor mill a thing or two. hopefully you plan on sharing more on the world wide web!!

Garret of Jim and Garret said...

At least you know what you want! That's a great start.

Robyn said...

atleast you know whta you dont want.

Eternal Lizdom said...

How about that guy you just had dinner with? The wealthy dude? You could teach him better things to do with his money...

I always dreamed I'd meet my husband at church. Instead, I met him doing community theatre. I certainly wasn't looking and we became friends well before we ever realized there was anything else there. It just happened. And since I wasn't looking or dating... I didn't have anything I was looking for. But apparently love was looking for me.

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