Monday, July 20, 2009

TOUCHY FEELY......

So I met a guy at the gym the other day and he seemed pretty cool. As is the case for the past 3 months, conversation was initiated because of my slight limp. What happened? How did you do it? When did it happen? etc. We ended up talking about some of his family members and the possibility of me helping them with some nutritional and weight loss information which I have been doing some part-time work around.

Anyway, so by the end of the conversation, he invited me to lunch. I wasn't sure what was his motivation for inviting me, like I said he seemed cool. I decided however to be very upfront with him and tell him that I was NOT available and that it would strictly be platonic in nature. I just wanted to be clear from the get-go so that there would be NO misunderstanding. He said ok and so a couple days later we met up.

First of all, we met at the gym and he said we should go in his car. I said OK and then I saw that he was driving a convertible! Not my thing at all. For those of you that don't know, let me fill you in.....CONVERTIBLE + BLACK WOMAN's HAIR + NO SCRUNCHIE/PONYTAIL HOLDER = NO FUN AT ALL!!!! I aired my non-preference of the top down situation but he just told me to go to the drug store next door and buy a scrunchie..... OKaay then! Now if this were a date and/or this was someone I liked in that sort of a way, then I would have been feeling far more accommodating but given the scenario, ummm not so much. Anyway, being the nice girl that I am, I went and bought one.

We got in the car and drove to a nearby Cajun restaurant. As soon as we walked in, it was instantly clear that he knew EVERYONE in there. "Hey", "what's up", "you good?", "I see you", nods, hand shakes - you name it, he did it. By the time we were seated a mere 50ft or so from the door, he had already said hello to at least 10 people, no lie. He started touching my back and ushering me to my seat and calling me honey and some other names.....ewww! Through the course of lunch, he touched my hand a bunch of times and my leg over and over. I was SO uncomfortable. I will say the food was good though:-) I was very aware that he was trying to give the impression to everyone that we were together and I was definitely trying as politely as I could to do the opposite, especially with the waitress who he also clearly knew.

Anyway, lunch ended and we went to get up and he reached for my hand to hold it to walk out of the restaurant!!!!!!?????? Is it me or this is way over the top? I turned my head and looked the other way, pretending not to see this gesture. He bid his goodbye's to everyone again on the way out and I held onto my purse with both hands so that they would both be occupied, lol. At least he put the top up on the car for the drive back. I was literally counting the seconds till I could get back to the safety of my car. We finally did. I said thank you, reciprocated his hug that lasted too long and got the heck outta there.

He has since called several times and I think I picked up the phone once. I finally had to tell him today that there would be NO further outings and that NO I couldn't "make some time for him". I just wish I could've forseen how this was gonna go. Maybe I'm just naive (as I've been told:-). He was a nice guy, but just WAAAY too touchy, feely for me and way too "friendly". I haven't seen him at the gym since, but I know I will. I will for sure say hi but I can assure you that there will be no more lunches or drinks or anything of nature. Hopefully I've learned a lesson, but knowing me, probably not, LOL!! That benefit of the doubt thing just doesn't always pan out.

11 comments:

Jim and Garret said...

Ugh. I think he wanted some arm candy for his friends at that restaurant. I bet you he went back a day or 2 later and told everyone how you two slept together and what not. Ugh.

See Jackie, it seems you don't need to travel to have misadventures!

Eternal Lizdom said...

The worst part is that you amde it clear up front that this wasn't going anywhere. So he totally disrespected you by disregarding that major piece of info!

News Revolver said...

Dang! Talkin' about invading a person's space. I think it was pretty immature of him to treat you as some showpiece that was not his to begin with; that's the kind of stuff you do in high school, not as a grown person. Oh and why didn't he just put his convertible top up when you obviously weren't a fan of it being down... yeah he was an idiot; I'm sorry to say, but someone needs to so it may as well be me. Next time you see him, tell him that he is better suited for some simple-minded chickenhead and not a mature woman.

Holla!

Nikkie T said...

Jackie, you have to be mean sometimes... well let me rephrase that because I don't think what I used to do was mean, it was just very matter of fact.
I've been out with guys in situations where I thought it was clear that I had no romantic intentions and have also been caught up in the touchy feely thing. But saying things like, "Could you not do that?" or, "Sorry but my friends don't touch my legs" tended to stop the action. If someone touches your hand and it lingers too long, literally pick it up with your free hand and place it somewhere else. Yeah the guy might be uncomfortable but better him than you.

Anonymous said...

How rude of him! Especially since you spelled it out clearly to him before you went to lunch. I definitely understand about the driving in the convertible thing, too. Last week, I had a date with a real southern gentleman. He texted me beforehand to warn me that the top would be down on his Mercedes XL600 and that he would be wearing shorts. His message was thoughtful and allowed me time to change out of my dress. I forgot about bringing the hair tie, though and my straight long hair blew all over the place. Yet, that was my fault. He did the perfect thing by warning me ahead of time! Here's to real gentlemen.

fstevens said...

That is very jacked up... He tried to make it seem like you guys were a couple... Funny!!! I wish that you could have recorded his physical expression when he was getting the accolades while walking in with you... He probably "strutted in, with a gangsta lean." That's how I would have done it!! Just jokin....

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com said...

Hi there!

Yes... it was sooo obvious that he was trying to make people think you were together and I would have called him out on that if I were you...

When he touched my hand the first time, I would have just said, "if you don't mind, I would prefer if you didn't do that." If he then touched my leg, I would have said it again. After the SECOND time, a guy has to get the "hint"... if he doesn't then he is deliberately violating ... in which case I would say, "I'm sorry to cut this evening short but I am getting a headache from repeating myself." I would then get up and say good night and walk out. I would not even accept a ride. I would just hail a cab and exit. No attitude or anything... just polite good bye and a swift turn to the door.

Mizrepresent said...

You did the right thing gurl. Kudos to you for stepping up and telling him how you feel.

Joice said...

Jack I am LMFAO cause I know you. Eyes rolling and everything.

Luv ya

Jx

dejanae said...

yea
def too damn nice
lol

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