Friday, July 3, 2009


I have a pretty good male friend who I'm relatively sure doesn't read my blog so I'm gonna write this taking the risk that he won't google me now and start reading tomorrow:~/

I've been friends with this guy now for the past 4 or so years and actually I've known him since my college days. We get along really well and I enjoy his company. He is funny, quick-witted, intelligent, good-looking.....and married (with kids)! We joke about pretty much everything and whenever I see him we have a good laugh.

However, the past several times that we've hung out, he's decided for one reason or another to try push things beyond the line of what is appropriate. He's made certain comments, made certain moves, and without being completely blatant has pretty much made it very clear that he would like to take "things" further. Now at first, I just laughed and blew it off with a chuckle and a wave of the hand and a "you're so silly". But as time has passed, he has made his intent all the more clear and things finally came to a head recently.

There was no more aversion that I could do, or laughing or dismissing of particular statements and so I finally had to make myself explicitly clear. I told him that while I thoroughly enjoy our friendship that I am not the chick who fools around with other people's husbands and that I hope he could accept and respect my standpoint. One to which I would hold firm. He immediately said "absolutely" and I felt much better for having finally said what NEEDED to be said.

I'm not sure why people do that. Why get married if you're not ready? Why cheat? Where is your conscience? And why risk messing up a perfectly good friendship for some foolishness? I don't know the answers to these questions and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do if he comes at me like that again because I have the distinct feeling that given his ego, it's a possibility. He's not accustomed to being "denied", but I hope that he will at least respect my wishes if this friendship is to continue. I guess my only other option at that point will be to just completely end the friendship. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that!



Jim and Garret said...

That's unfortunate. I hope he doesn't take that as a compliment to leave his wife and kids for you. You know you're one hot mama...for a chick. ;-)

Anonymous said...

It's great you view it the way you, there are women out there that have no self respect and could care less if a man is "taken". You did the right thing and hopefully for the sake of your friendship and the sake of his marriage he will do the same!

Anonymous said...

Baby Bear checking in ummm I have not contacted you since my journey. I'm safe will contact you on ur email soon.

Eternal Lizdom said...

What a slimey little creep. Guys like that piss me off. If he's doing that with you, he is most likely doing it with someone else who isn't turning him down. His poor wife. His poor kids.

I wouldn't be friends with someone like that. Blatant disrespect for women, vows, loyalty, commitment.

Brianna said...

wild guess... rhymes with Bruce Springsteen?!

Jackie E. said...

Brianna, I'm not sure who you're thinking of but it's not that person because the name doesn't rhyme, but u definitely know the person and if I still had ur bbm I'd tell u. You may or may not be surprised tho.

anonymousnupe said...

Sad to say, friendships like that--married man, beautiful ingenue friend--"never" work. This incident was inevitable. We (men) just can't handle platonic relationships where an absolute "10" (or even a 6.5) is involved. That's why I don't even consort with beautiful, desirable women of my own volition or without a chaperone... Especially looking and smelling the way I do, you know, all Nupe-like and everything.


I hate to say it, but the relationship is most likely damaged for all time. Just keepin' it real.

Nikkie T said...

Good for you for being better than that and puttin gyour foot down!!

Shame on this dude for not having more respect for his wife and family!!

I actually see it as a sign of disrespect towards you for him to even think that you're the type of woman who would even get down like that.

I don't know this guy so I can't speak to any other redeeming qualities he may have (if any at all) but he definately gets a big, fat "FAIL" for this one!!

Anonymous said...

Married folks, especially married men, need to stop this mess! Steve McNair should prove to be a good example of what happens when you step out of marriage-the chick on the side could be crazy enough to put two slugs in your dome and then kill herself. In your case, he was trying to make you the side-peice and that's just plain wrong... with friends like that, who needs enemies!? At least you set him straight, but it's a shame that he even took it there.

P.S.-Why is Brianna trying to put ol' boy on