Thursday, January 28, 2010

He's Just THAT Into YOU!!

So we've all heard that phrase thrown around a lot - He's Just NOT that into you! It's supposed to be the phrase that not so succinctly tells a girl that the guy she wants really isn't that interested in her. We've all been guilty of ignoring those signs....he doesn't want to be exclusive, yes he saw you called - yes his phone is working - no, he didn't call you back, he won't hold your hand in public, he calls you last minute for a "hookup" but won't take you out to dinner or let you meet his friends.

Well after reading a good article today, I thought I would list the opposite list today. How to tell if He REALLY is into you!! Even though these 10 signs surely do not cover all the indications of a swooning man, they should give you a good idea of what to look for. Too often women overanalyze irrelevant details and overlook the tell-tale signs when it comes to gauging just how into you he is. A lot of times women have a general thought or idea of how a man is supposed to act when he’s diggin’ her i.e. flowers, cards, and candy, which can come with time but in the beginning, the signs are subtle yet obvious! Remember, body language speaks louder than words and it would be good pay attention to his gestures! We’ll touch on both areas! So take a look a these 10 ways to tell if the man you’re seeing is in it to win it!

Calls and Texts - if a man is truly digging a woman he will call, a lot of times for no reason. If he calls or shoots you a text saying, “hey, have good day” you’re on his mind! If he returns your calls in a prompt manner, he wants you to know that he’s not dodging you and making an effort to take the time to let you know that.

He Tries New Things for You - you obviously had a life before you started dating this guy so you know that Yoga class you take three nights a week? If you say “hey, you wanna come with me one night?” and he comes along, he’s taking one for the team! Why? Because he wants to spend time with you, get to know you and the things you take interest in.

He Introduces You to His Friends - if a guy is into you, chances are he’s told his friends about you. Men normally don’t go introducing their friends to the “jump-off” so if you meet his boys from childhood, the ones he play sports with on the weekends and the ones he works with, he’s into you. You’ll know for sure if the boys know things about like what you do for a living and for leisure. All this means is he’s been bragging about his boo!

He Gets to Know Your Friends - this is a two way street, right? So if he takes the time to hang out with you and your girls, he’s making his presence in your life known. He’ll also do this to get to learn your role in their lives and how you behave around them. Are you the wild-child party animal, the witty but funny voice if reason or the conservative who sits back and observes? If he’s really into you, he’ll make a point to get in good with the bestie so he knows who to call in case you get missing!

He Values Your Opinion
- no matter how big or small the scenario, if he asks your opinion and takes the advice you give, then it’s safe to say he trusts you. If it’s as simple as, “does the blue or black shirt look better with this suit” or “do you think I should take my mother here or there for her birthday?” All this means is he trusts your judgment and values your opinion.

Random Caresses - if a man is into you, he’ll want to be close. If he’s diggin’ you, he wants to be close enough to you to smell you and sneak a touch or two. Some men are the aggressive type and will caress the small of your back, tug at your hips, or give you a solid squeeze.

Open Posture – If the two of you are sitting across from each other and he’s hunched over table, he may struggle with revealing his feelings and thoughts physically and verbally. But if a guy sitting across from you is leaning towards you with his shoulders raised with a slight head tilt, his body language is indicating that he’s interested in you and what you have to say.

Gazing - as the old saying goes “eyes are the gateway to the soul,” and this is so true! It’s easy to tell a man is totally detached if you’re talking about something you feel passionate about and he’s distracted, fidgeting and looking everywhere but in your eyes. He’s not interested, period. But if you’re speaking and he’s giving you eye contact, then he’s connected. Think about it: it’s highly unlikely a man will readily admit that you have him open, but if he’s staring in your eyes while you speak and allows you to look back, he’s letting you in.

Nervous Sprucing - if a guy is totally into himself, then you’ll know the difference between narcissistic grooming and nervous sprucing. If the gentleman you’re feeling is constantly brushing miniscule lint off his shoulder, adjusting his shirt and smoothing his freshly cut hair, he wants to look good for you! He’s trying his hardest to look his best for you, so don’t be surprised if he asks you if he has anything in his teeth! These gestures are simply nervous quircks.

Facial Expressions - you can always tell how a man feels by his expression when he first sees you. For example, if he’s picking you up for a date, pay attention to the look on his face. If he raises his eyebrows and has an expression that mirrors surprise, he’s happy to see you and excited to spend time with you. Men don’t like to be rejected, so if he looks relieved, he’s glad you showed up and thrilled about the time he’ll spend with you. By the end of the night, if he looks like he’s anxious or can’t keep his eyes off you, chances are he’s having troubles keeping his hands off you also. Don’t be too proud to reach out to him for a solid hug!

So Ladies, if you’re currently dating a man and you’re not all the way sure if he’s taking the relationship seriously, these are ways to tell without pressuring him to label or define your coupledom. If he’s doing some of things listed above, chances are he’s going to make the steps towards something more serious without you having to say a word!

And when all else your instincts, they're usually right!!


Eternal Lizdom said...

One of the ways my husband totally won me over was the e-mails he would send me all day long. Now, he would never do that these days. But when we were first dating, I loved getting e-mails with silly poems or about him telling me how he's "grinning like a school boy at his desk." Totally out of character- guard totally down.

Kandia said...

Those are good tip-offs, especially the eye-gazing and calling all the time...and I like to test them to see if they would go get feminine products just to see what they would say, if he doesn't have a problem with it then he just might be long-term material :-)

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Mix said...

If your man is pushing you away and acting distant

Or if the guy you’re after isn’t giving you the time of day...

Then it’s time to pull out all the stops.

Because 99% of the time, there is only 1 thing you can say to a standoffish guy that will grab him by the heartstrings-

And get his blood pumping at just the thought of you.

Insert subject line here and link it to: Your ex won’t be able to resist?

Once you say this to him, or even send this simple phrase in a text message...

It will flip his world upside down and you will suddenly find him chasing you-

And even begging to be with you.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

Insert subject line here and link it to: Is your man hiding something? He may need your help?

Thanks again.