Friday, October 23, 2009


While I was away, I had a pretty interesting conversation with my girls Kinta and Latika, the essence of which was as follows....For the life of me, I have never understood people who brag or boast or place such a heavy emphasis on how they look, most specifically, on how pretty or handsome they are. To me, it's actually a sign of insecurity or shallowness or the fact that something else is missing.

Cause let's be real, no one who is pretty or beautiful or fine had very much of anything to do with that fact. OK, so maybe you wash your face every night and drink lots of water so your skin is nice or you wear sunblock or you know how to apply makeup really well, but when it comes down to the raw basics, I'm gonna say you were just lucky! I say if you wanna brag or boast something, or thank somebody maybe you should thank your parents for having such great genes.

Thank God too, for genetic symmetry and for Him seeing fit to bless you with it. Beauty is not like a sport where you have to work really hard day in and day out to accomplish a goal; it's not an instrument where you have to practice consistently to be proficient at it; it's not a language that you studied really hard at in order to be fluent; it's not a degree that you worked for and so therefore proudly get to put those letters either before or after your name.It's not even like your body where you can actually really workout and sculpt it to achieve the look you want. Beauty is none of those things! You can't/don't earn it. And it is fleeting.

There will come a day when this crutch, so superficial and temporary, will fade and what will be left? I say work on the inside and that beauty which lasts forever. Give me an average looking person with a heart of gold any day over a stunner with that snob, better than thou attitude.

If you hang your hat on your looks and ride that so hard to the deficit of things that really matter in your life, it's really only a matter of time before the ugliness that narcicissm inherently fosters will show itself. And that is definitely NOT a good look. Now if you happen to have both, looks and character/personality, then more power to you. Who doesn't want to look the best they can? But it just shouldn't be THE feather in your cap. Your looks should not define who you are as a person cause guess what?'s only skin deep!

PS. After a conversation I just had, let me clarify myself lol. I think there's nothing wrong with being confident about your appearance and putting time and effort into making sure you present yourself well. It matters for sure. I'm just saying, if you are confident or proud of your looks, there's no need to brag about it or to feel that anyone else is less than you because of it. It should speak silently for itself.

****I had a WONDERFUL trip!!!! There's really nothing better than getting to spend time with your friends and people who you love and care about. Everyone took such great care of the cripple, lol, and I am so grateful. From great food (bacon wrapped scallops, wow!!!), great conversations, some much needed QT, a great movie (you gotta see Law Abiding Citizen!!!), and just great hospitality all around and lovely homes, I couldn't have asked for more. Thanks everyone:-)****


Jewells said...

You are so right. I never understood why people brag about their looks. You had nothing to do with it...unless you shelled out a few thousand.

LOL @ the cripple. Glad you had a good time. =)

anonymousnupe said...

So Citizen was good really? Interesting. Trailers didn't really do it for me. Gonna try to take the boys I train in hoops to see Lebron's flick, More than a Game, this weekend. Reliable sources tell me it's like that.

My thoughts on the "Beauty" issue:

You and I think a lot alike on this topic. But I think some would argue that only "pretty" people would really take this side and genuinely mean it. God don't make no "ugly," mind you, but do those who are deemed "less attractive" hold these same beliefs? (And who really has the right to deem them lesser in the first place?!) Or do the homely secretly envy the pulchritudinous? It's like filthy rich folks spouting off about how money doesn't mean anything to them. Rings rather hollow when you have plenty of what it is you devalue. Again, some would take this position, which may not be invalid, either.

And are you and I (and anyone else who decides to join in the discussion) willing to admit our own arrogance in even discussing this issue? Odds are we would not be talking about this if somewhere along the line a considerable throng hadn't convinced us that we "could get it" simply because God fashioned the flesh draped over our bones just so.

And you know there's no such thing as "luck," man. It's ALL God!

anonymousnupe said...

Jewells, you look hot in your picture, girl. LOL!!

Jewells said...

Why thank you, Mr. Nupe. =)

Yes, Law Abiding Citizen is great. Think it's my fave this year thus far.

anonymousnupe said...

You're welcome. That compliment, while absolutely true, was meant to be ironic, given Jackie's subject matter.

Wait. Citizen was that good?! Better than "Hurt Locker" and "District 9"?

Jackie E. said...

Mr.Nupe, Citizen really was all that! It will definitely keep you on the edge of your seat. Great plot too! In my Top 3 for the year for sure!!!

anonymousnupe said...

Hey! We just saw Lebron's "More Than A Game." What a great story. I guarantee you'll cry and laugh. (Yes, Nupes do cry.) The audience applauded when the credits ran!

I might try to squeeze in "Citizen" tomorrow.

Gina said...

This topic is on point. There are people who define themselves by how "fine" they have been told they are. OK, and then what? People like this are never happy because their value is in the hands of other people's perspectives of them. Then there are the title droppers. You know the ones. They talk about what IVY League school they went to, how many degrees they have, and how ambitious they are compared to most people. This topic is on point. There are people who define themselves by how "fine" they have been told they are. OK, and then what? People like this are never happy because their value is in the hands of other people's perspectives of them. Then there are the title droppers. You know the ones. They talk about what IVY League school they went to, how many degrees they have, and how ambitious they are compared to most people.

Gina Continued said...

They never truly feel ADEQUATE. They are only as adequate as others make them fee. In the end, Who WE are is reflecitve of the way people treat US, and WE them. Reciprocation is KEY! Without that...

eda said...



Eternal Lizdom said...

I know you've read some of my own thoughts on beauty and appearance.

The thing that I think so many miss is that if beauty isn't on the inside... then it isn't beauty. Some of the prettiest people I've ever known weren't necessarily fitting society's definition of beauty. But because they loved others, lived kindly, and had confidence... they glowed with that inner beauty.

Anonymous said...

You are so endearing! Your true beauty is evidenced by your humility; you are obviously accomplished, educated, and gorgeous besides. I wonder, is it your upbringing that has allowed you to keep a level head about yourself??

I thought you would appreciate what the "Good Book" says about beauty. Look up Proverbs 31, which describes A Wife of Noble Character, who works diligently providing for her family and is therefore commended and respected. Proverbs 31:25,29. "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Of course, God does not approve of our haughty ways, whether it is pride because of our accomplishments or our beauty. Believe me. God knocked me down to my knees, after my pride over my accomplishments and beauty grew into arrogance. Proverbs 6:16-17. There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood"

And, what do you imagine Jesus himself looks like? Do you imagine a 6'2" drop dead amazing hunk?? I did. Would you believe that Jesus himself, who could have taken on the appearance of the absolute epitome of masculine beauty, was not much to look at. Read Isaiah 53:2 "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering." Wow!!

The most dramatice example of pride gone wrong over beauty is the story of Jezebel. I don't know the exact verse, yet read the story. Before Jezebel is thrown into the street and ripped apart limb to limb by ferocious dogs, she puts on her makeup!!! No kidding! She knows she is about to die, and she takes those precious minutes, not to say goodbye to family, not to confess her sins to the Almighty, but to PUT ON HER MAKEUP! Now isn't that the most dramatic definition of narcissism you have ever heard!!

Here is to true beauty: outward beauty mixed with humility and the wisdom to acknowledge its origin.

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