MY KINDA GUY

Over the years, I've dated a wide variety of guys. Those who know me, will know that the number of actual men is not high. I'm not sure why or why not. For some reason, I've just never been attracted to loads and loads of men. Call it picky, call it selective, call it unlucky, who knows? Some of my friends have the ability to find this guy attractive, and that one and the other one, any time, all the time. I would have to say that sometimes I've envied that. I could seriously go years without finding one guy wholly appealing - physically, spiritually, mentally, personality, manners - you know the whole package.

I have a lot of male friends, friends who I can totally see why someone else would absolutely love them and who on paper it would make perfect sense for me to be attracted to them, but maybe there's a faulty mechanism in my brain that only allows me to like one or two guys every 3 or 4 years lol. There was a period of time, between 2002 and 2005 where I only was "involved" with one guy that played tennis (and for those of you who read my blog that know who I'm talking about, please keep it to yourselves:-) and that was only for a couple weeks. THAT's IT! Not another date, not a nothing else. Sad, yes I know:-(

I think I've spent so many of my years traveling and doing the track thing with my whole heart and being that it's just never been a priority. During that time I have dated white guys, black guys, a hispanic guy and in-between guys. At Stanford, my first boyfriend ever was white - the quarterback of the football team - how cliche??!! Let me add quickly though that at that time, fresh off the boat from The Bahamas, I had absolutely NO comprehension of the game of football. Didn't know a quarterback from a running back from a hump back of Notredame. Seriously, no clue. That didn't stop the naysayers from claiming that I thought I was white and was only dating this guy because of his position on the team. If only they had known that a) I don't discriminate lol and b) that for all I knew he was just one of a group of men in similar uniforms who liked to play this game with no rules (in my mind) who just knocked each other down over and over for no apparent reason. By my senior year, thankfully I knew what was going on lol.

I've dated internationally too - a black model from France (worst mistake EVER), a white guy from Germany, an Australian, a Cuban and then my lovely American boys. For one reason or another, I've ended up dating a number of guys that are significantly younger than me. Not sure why. I will say I am not a chaser, so these young men have been the ones who pursued me and since they've been so lovely, what's a girl to do??

I've often wondered what exactly is my kinda guy. I don't really think I have a type per se, but there are certain things that seem to be more prevalent than not in the men I've loved. Tall (well mostly), athletic, intelligent, uber confident, great smiles, charming, funny - you HAVE to have a sense of humor, and they've been high on the handsome scale:-) It's not that I look for that specifically, it's just that these traits seem to be common to them all. However, because of these qualities, these men tend to have more "options" so to speak and a fair number of them have chosen to exercise those options if you know what I mean. Sometimes it's hurt a lot, sometimes not as much. But you just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on, knowing that Mr. Right is still out there, right ladies?

I know what I DON'T LIKE - selfishness, rudeness, men that are inconsiderate, who treat their mother's poorly, I can't do the vertically challenged thing - sorry - I'm 5'8 1'2 and when I put on heels, I'm bordering on 6ft so a guy that's also 5'8" or less, probably not gonna work. Unhealthy or unfit men, I don't like them. I love guys that take care of themselves or who workout. They don't have to be athletes as such, just athletic. Poor hygiene is a HUGE turnoff. Can you really get past consistent bad breath? I don't think so lol. Or someone with bad B.O.??? Ewwww! If you did not just finish working out, etc, there's no excuse. The ladies know there's a lot of bonus points out there for a good smelling guy!!! Get your Bath & Body on too please (if you need some help I highly recommend Warm Vanilla body lotion) and a little bit and I did say a little cologne (don't bathe in it). Just can't deny a great smelling guy! (That rhymed, haha...) Anyway, Oh yeah and cut your hair - no shaggy monsters for me (well maybe one time I went there, lol).

Can you have some table manners too? No smacking your lips while you're eating! Know how to use your fork and knife properly. Please don't talk with your mouth just loaded with food. Be kind to your waitstaff. I hate it when people are rude and pushy with the people who serve them at restaurants. Says a lot about a person's character or lack thereof. And can we talk about something other than hip-hop music or popular culture? I need you to know a little about what's going on in the world. Is that too much to ask for?

I know I'm all over the place with this post lol and I'm not sure what prompted the topic. I just know that I know that I like what I like when I see it. Can't predict it, can't explain it. My kinda guy is thoughtful and genuine and adventurous and honest and chivalrous and passionate and silly and intellectual. He's intense but laid-back, he's tough but gentle, he's serious and funny, he can dress up and he can dress down. The older I get, the more I know what I like...And who knows, maybe I've found him already:-) It's possible, but only time will tell.....

CROSSING THE LINE

I have a pretty good male friend who I'm relatively sure doesn't read my blog so I'm gonna write this taking the risk that he won't google me now and start reading tomorrow:~/

I've been friends with this guy now for the past 4 or so years and actually I've known him since my college days. We get along really well and I enjoy his company. He is funny, quick-witted, intelligent, good-looking.....and married (with kids)! We joke about pretty much everything and whenever I see him we have a good laugh.

However, the past several times that we've hung out, he's decided for one reason or another to try push things beyond the line of what is appropriate. He's made certain comments, made certain moves, and without being completely blatant has pretty much made it very clear that he would like to take "things" further. Now at first, I just laughed and blew it off with a chuckle and a wave of the hand and a "you're so silly". But as time has passed, he has made his intent all the more clear and things finally came to a head recently.

There was no more aversion that I could do, or laughing or dismissing of particular statements and so I finally had to make myself explicitly clear. I told him that while I thoroughly enjoy our friendship that I am not the chick who fools around with other people's husbands and that I hope he could accept and respect my standpoint. One to which I would hold firm. He immediately said "absolutely" and I felt much better for having finally said what NEEDED to be said.

I'm not sure why people do that. Why get married if you're not ready? Why cheat? Where is your conscience? And why risk messing up a perfectly good friendship for some foolishness? I don't know the answers to these questions and I'm not sure what I'm gonna do if he comes at me like that again because I have the distinct feeling that given his ego, it's a possibility. He's not accustomed to being "denied", but I hope that he will at least respect my wishes if this friendship is to continue. I guess my only other option at that point will be to just completely end the friendship. I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that!


***HAPPY 4TH of JULY EVERYONE!! BE SAFE!!!***

WHAT A WOMAN/MAN NEEDS.....

A friend of mine (a guy) sent this to me today and while I didn't necessarily agree;-), I did find it rather funny. Could this be true???? Nah..... but I thought I'd share anyway!!

How to Make a Woman Happy


It's not difficult to make a woman happy....
A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined!
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:


51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes


IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes



HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring food

Now, c'mon ladies, we all know that life would be superb, if this were REALLY true!!! Unfortunately, in reality, this is not the case, lol!! Sure would be nice if men were that simple though.....


****On a more serious note, words cannot adequately express how sad and disappointed I was/am when DO told me that he hurt himself and is out of the US Champs this week/end. It was almost as upsetting as my own injury. He would most certainly have retained his title and I was looking forward to seeing it firsthand. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways though, and His plans are not always ours. I can attest to that. Eugene's not gonna be the same without you:-( but I know you'll be back with a vengeance! *****