He's Just THAT Into YOU!!

So we've all heard that phrase thrown around a lot - He's Just NOT that into you! It's supposed to be the phrase that not so succinctly tells a girl that the guy she wants really isn't that interested in her. We've all been guilty of ignoring those signs....he doesn't want to be exclusive, yes he saw you called - yes his phone is working - no, he didn't call you back, he won't hold your hand in public, he calls you last minute for a "hookup" but won't take you out to dinner or let you meet his friends.

Well after reading a good article today, I thought I would list the opposite list today. How to tell if He REALLY is into you!! Even though these 10 signs surely do not cover all the indications of a swooning man, they should give you a good idea of what to look for. Too often women overanalyze irrelevant details and overlook the tell-tale signs when it comes to gauging just how into you he is. A lot of times women have a general thought or idea of how a man is supposed to act when he’s diggin’ her i.e. flowers, cards, and candy, which can come with time but in the beginning, the signs are subtle yet obvious! Remember, body language speaks louder than words and it would be good pay attention to his gestures! We’ll touch on both areas! So take a look a these 10 ways to tell if the man you’re seeing is in it to win it!

Calls and Texts - if a man is truly digging a woman he will call, a lot of times for no reason. If he calls or shoots you a text saying, “hey, have good day” you’re on his mind! If he returns your calls in a prompt manner, he wants you to know that he’s not dodging you and making an effort to take the time to let you know that.

He Tries New Things for You - you obviously had a life before you started dating this guy so you know that Yoga class you take three nights a week? If you say “hey, you wanna come with me one night?” and he comes along, he’s taking one for the team! Why? Because he wants to spend time with you, get to know you and the things you take interest in.

He Introduces You to His Friends - if a guy is into you, chances are he’s told his friends about you. Men normally don’t go introducing their friends to the “jump-off” so if you meet his boys from childhood, the ones he play sports with on the weekends and the ones he works with, he’s into you. You’ll know for sure if the boys know things about like what you do for a living and for leisure. All this means is he’s been bragging about his boo!

He Gets to Know Your Friends - this is a two way street, right? So if he takes the time to hang out with you and your girls, he’s making his presence in your life known. He’ll also do this to get to learn your role in their lives and how you behave around them. Are you the wild-child party animal, the witty but funny voice if reason or the conservative who sits back and observes? If he’s really into you, he’ll make a point to get in good with the bestie so he knows who to call in case you get missing!

He Values Your Opinion - no matter how big or small the scenario, if he asks your opinion and takes the advice you give, then it’s safe to say he trusts you. If it’s as simple as, “does the blue or black shirt look better with this suit” or “do you think I should take my mother here or there for her birthday?” All this means is he trusts your judgment and values your opinion.

Random Caresses - if a man is into you, he’ll want to be close. If he’s diggin’ you, he wants to be close enough to you to smell you and sneak a touch or two. Some men are the aggressive type and will caress the small of your back, tug at your hips, or give you a solid squeeze.

Open Posture – If the two of you are sitting across from each other and he’s hunched over table, he may struggle with revealing his feelings and thoughts physically and verbally. But if a guy sitting across from you is leaning towards you with his shoulders raised with a slight head tilt, his body language is indicating that he’s interested in you and what you have to say.

Gazing - as the old saying goes “eyes are the gateway to the soul,” and this is so true! It’s easy to tell a man is totally detached if you’re talking about something you feel passionate about and he’s distracted, fidgeting and looking everywhere but in your eyes. He’s not interested, period. But if you’re speaking and he’s giving you eye contact, then he’s connected. Think about it: it’s highly unlikely a man will readily admit that you have him open, but if he’s staring in your eyes while you speak and allows you to look back, he’s letting you in.

Nervous Sprucing - if a guy is totally into himself, then you’ll know the difference between narcissistic grooming and nervous sprucing. If the gentleman you’re feeling is constantly brushing miniscule lint off his shoulder, adjusting his shirt and smoothing his freshly cut hair, he wants to look good for you! He’s trying his hardest to look his best for you, so don’t be surprised if he asks you if he has anything in his teeth! These gestures are simply nervous quircks.

Facial Expressions - you can always tell how a man feels by his expression when he first sees you. For example, if he’s picking you up for a date, pay attention to the look on his face. If he raises his eyebrows and has an expression that mirrors surprise, he’s happy to see you and excited to spend time with you. Men don’t like to be rejected, so if he looks relieved, he’s glad you showed up and thrilled about the time he’ll spend with you. By the end of the night, if he looks like he’s anxious or can’t keep his eyes off you, chances are he’s having troubles keeping his hands off you also. Don’t be too proud to reach out to him for a solid hug!

So Ladies, if you’re currently dating a man and you’re not all the way sure if he’s taking the relationship seriously, these are ways to tell without pressuring him to label or define your coupledom. If he’s doing some of things listed above, chances are he’s going to make the steps towards something more serious without you having to say a word!

And when all else fails.....trust your instincts, they're usually right!!

TOUCHY FEELY......

So I met a guy at the gym the other day and he seemed pretty cool. As is the case for the past 3 months, conversation was initiated because of my slight limp. What happened? How did you do it? When did it happen? etc. We ended up talking about some of his family members and the possibility of me helping them with some nutritional and weight loss information which I have been doing some part-time work around.

Anyway, so by the end of the conversation, he invited me to lunch. I wasn't sure what was his motivation for inviting me, like I said he seemed cool. I decided however to be very upfront with him and tell him that I was NOT available and that it would strictly be platonic in nature. I just wanted to be clear from the get-go so that there would be NO misunderstanding. He said ok and so a couple days later we met up.

First of all, we met at the gym and he said we should go in his car. I said OK and then I saw that he was driving a convertible! Not my thing at all. For those of you that don't know, let me fill you in.....CONVERTIBLE + BLACK WOMAN's HAIR + NO SCRUNCHIE/PONYTAIL HOLDER = NO FUN AT ALL!!!! I aired my non-preference of the top down situation but he just told me to go to the drug store next door and buy a scrunchie..... OKaay then! Now if this were a date and/or this was someone I liked in that sort of a way, then I would have been feeling far more accommodating but given the scenario, ummm not so much. Anyway, being the nice girl that I am, I went and bought one.

We got in the car and drove to a nearby Cajun restaurant. As soon as we walked in, it was instantly clear that he knew EVERYONE in there. "Hey", "what's up", "you good?", "I see you", nods, hand shakes - you name it, he did it. By the time we were seated a mere 50ft or so from the door, he had already said hello to at least 10 people, no lie. He started touching my back and ushering me to my seat and calling me honey and some other names.....ewww! Through the course of lunch, he touched my hand a bunch of times and my leg over and over. I was SO uncomfortable. I will say the food was good though:-) I was very aware that he was trying to give the impression to everyone that we were together and I was definitely trying as politely as I could to do the opposite, especially with the waitress who he also clearly knew.

Anyway, lunch ended and we went to get up and he reached for my hand to hold it to walk out of the restaurant!!!!!!?????? Is it me or this is way over the top? I turned my head and looked the other way, pretending not to see this gesture. He bid his goodbye's to everyone again on the way out and I held onto my purse with both hands so that they would both be occupied, lol. At least he put the top up on the car for the drive back. I was literally counting the seconds till I could get back to the safety of my car. We finally did. I said thank you, reciprocated his hug that lasted too long and got the heck outta there.

He has since called several times and I think I picked up the phone once. I finally had to tell him today that there would be NO further outings and that NO I couldn't "make some time for him". I just wish I could've forseen how this was gonna go. Maybe I'm just naive (as I've been told:-). He was a nice guy, but just WAAAY too touchy, feely for me and way too "friendly". I haven't seen him at the gym since, but I know I will. I will for sure say hi but I can assure you that there will be no more lunches or drinks or anything of nature. Hopefully I've learned a lesson, but knowing me, probably not, LOL!! That benefit of the doubt thing just doesn't always pan out.